There are times in my life where I often felt like gravity wasn’t holding me down. I know many people can relate to that feeling of being lost, feeling completely out of control or like everything is crashing at you all at once. Having gone through this process many times, I’ve come to realize that it has less to do with being able to control my feelings and more to do with knowing how to control my mind. Whenever I felt emotional, it was because I was bringing up negative thoughts. I was either overthinking, bringing up past situations or telling myself that I am out of control of my current situation. When you aren’t aware of how to control your mind, these little thoughts can easily make you feel defeated.
The mistake I made whenever I had these negative thoughts was that I would always try to fight them. Every time I tried to stop my mind from feeling out of control, it just made me feel like I was fighting a losing battle. Eventually what helped me was becoming a lot more self aware and learning constructive ways on how to control my thoughts and feelings. The key to learning how to control your mind power and how to control your mind from unwanted thoughts, is to simply acknowledge it and then work towards finding a solution. If you’re serious about helping yourself, you will. Remember, you cannot help those who does not want to help themselves. In saying that, it starts with ‘you’ making a conscious decision to master your mindset so that you can change your life for the best!
If you’re enjoying this post, you may find my Master Your Mindset Course helpful!
1. You Are Only Responsible For Your Thoughts, Feelings and Actions
When learning how to control your thoughts and feelings, the first thing you have to understand is that every feeling you have comes from a thought. If you have a bad thought, your body will react to it with a bad feeling, just like if you were to have a good thought, your body would react with a good feeling. Your thoughts, feelings and actions are all intertwined with each other.
Everything you feel or do, begins with a thought that has been planted in your mind. You have more control over your thoughts and feelings than you think you do. The movies you watch, the people you engage with, the books you read and the way you spend your time are all contributing factors to the way you feel and act. When you choose to take control of what you allow into your mind, you will have more control over how you feel. This is why only you are responsible for your emotions.
2. What You Choose To Allow, Is What Will Continue
In saying the above, you have to remember that what you allow to fester in your mind is exactly what will continue to be your circumstance. This is why it is important to become more self aware and make intentional choices and wiser decisions that contribute to your betterment. When you choose to give into people of a certain caliber that do not align with who you want to be or you give into bad habits everyday, you cannot expect yourself to feel good from engaging with these types of people or things. If you want to feel good, you have to align yourself with good people and habits.
You always get to choose who and what you allow to take space in your mind. Therefore, you also get to choose how you feel. There is no feeling that begins without an intentional thought first. The way you interpret and internalize things is also up to you. If you choose to allow the words or actions of a person to have power over you, then that is your choice. The more you give into allowing those around you to have power over your thoughts and feelings, the more it will continue.
3. You Are Not Responsible For Other People Actions
Often when you feel like you don’t know how to take control of your mind, it is usually a result of feeling victim to another persons actions towards you. If a person yells at you, cheats on you or lies to you, it’s taken personally and you register it in your brain as ‘my fault.’ This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Just like how you are responsible for your thoughts, feelings and actions, other people are responsible for theirs. You are not responsible for anyones actions but your own. When a person does something to hurt you, their actions are a result of their own internalized thoughts and feelings. You cannot take responsibility for a build up of thoughts and feelings that do not belong to you. Therefore, you have to stop allowing yourself to take responsibility other peoples actions that have absolutely nothing to do with you. You have absolutely no control over how another person feels. Just like how no one has control over how you feel unless you allow them to.
4. How To Control Your Mind Power
There is no way you can make a decision to even lift a finger without thinking about it first. Just like that, there is no feeling that you give into without a thought behind it. The reason why we so often feel like we don’t know how to control our minds from negative thoughts is because we forget to become self aware. Now that you understand just how much your thoughts influence your feelings and actions, you probably now also understand how important is to know how to control your mind power.
Whenever you feel like your emotions are out of control again, take a step back and become aware of the thoughts that are going on in your mind. Notice the people, habits and actions that have also so far influenced these thoughts in your mind. Thereafter, make a conscious choice to change what you are allowing to influence your thought process. Whenever you find your thoughts and feelings spiral out of control, ask yourself ‘why.’ Take note of what you have been ‘allowing’ and giving power to control you or make you feel this way and then change the trajectory of it.
5. Be Aware Of When You’re On Auto-Pilot
The issue is that we’re so unconscious of our thoughts. Often our minds are on auto-pilot and as human beings we naturally have thousands of thoughts a day, but we tend to choose to give significance to those few bad ones. This is why practicing mindfulness is so important. When you are mindful of your thoughts, you understand that you hold power to what you choose to give significance to. The more you choose to practice becoming aware of your thoughts, the easier it becomes to notice a bad thought, choose to not give it any significance and instead simply let it go as you would any other thought.
Mindfulness, like any other habit takes time to develop. The more you practice letting go of the little negative thoughts that run through your mind, the more you shorten the process of falling into those feelings of sadness, dread and depression. You no longer give those thoughts the power to fester and manifest into feelings and actions.
6. Habits To Take Control Of Your Mind And Focus Better
Good habits like meditation and journaling are perfect for creating a healthy headspace. These daily habits give you time to analyze, question and answer how and why you are feeling the ways you feel. More importantly, with practice, they help you to come up with solutions to your problems. There’s a quote that says, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone,” which perfectly describes why self-care is so important.
When you stick to good habits like journaling, working out, conscious eating and so on, you give yourself the opportunity to create good feelings. Sticking to a good routine give us purpose and alignment towards the feelings we want to create in ourselves, just as sticking to a bad one would. In saying this, if you want to know how to control your mind and focus better, you have to make a conscious effort towards creating a system of habits that contribute to mindfulness. This is just as important as creating habits that contribute to your physical health.
7. No One Is Coming To Save You
When we’re in pain, it can be so easy for us to seek out anyone close to us for help. However, not everyone that is close to you is going to be sensitive to what you need from them in the moment. Again, your feelings are your responsibility. You cannot blame a person for the way you are feeling and on top of that expect them to fix you. Having these expectations of someone coming to save you is very wrong. People go through their own issues and be biased towards yours. It isn’t that they don’t care about you, its simply that you are pinning your expectations onto them to fix you. You have to learn how to fix yourself.
Like we said earlier, you are responsible for your own thoughts and feelings. You are responsible of taking control of your own mind power. Knowing how to control your thoughts and feelings during hard times can be draining and all you may want is for someone to understand you in the moment, and from time to time yes, you may have that, but it isn’t something you should expect from a person. This expectation to be fixed by another human will only lead to your disappointment, especially when you’re sensitive and any little thing can trigger you.
8. Know Your Worth When People Try To Bring You Down
People can really make you question or forget your worth sometimes. This is why it’s important to always know your worth and keep your standards high. Don’t allow people who don’t see your worth to bring you down. Again, this is more a reflection of them than it is of you. If a person has hate in them, they will project hate. If a person has love in them, they will project love. Chances are if someone keeps tearing you down about something you love or enjoy doing, its because you’re living out a dream they’re too insecure to do themselves. So be grateful that you have more courage to do the things that others around you fear.
In saying this, whenever I go through something or I feel like someone has projected onto me something that I am not or wish not to attract in my life, the one affirmation I love using is, “I let go of what does not belong to me.” Words can be very harsh sometimes, especially when you find yourself being victim to someone else’s insecurities. However you get to choose whether you accept that or not. So choose to let go of what does not belong to you instead!
9. Less Distraction, More Action
In saying that, once you invest in your personal growth and educate yourself on how to correctly take care of yourself and your mental health, you will have a better grasp of what to do when you feel like your mind is out of control. Usually when we’re feeling down our energy levels are low and we either spiral into a lack of productivity or give into masking our feelings by doing things to take our minds off of those negative feelings, only to have to deal with it later.
Whenever you’re feeling down, force yourself to get up have a plan of action that include techniques on how to master your mind. Do things that are constructive and that are going to get you to take action on how you’re feeling and actually deal with it instead of trying to mask your pain. Go on a long walk and think things through, journal out what is going on in your head. Don’t try to do things that are that aren’t constructive like listening to music that relates to how you’re feeling, or staying in bed all day with the curtains drawn. This might be fine for a while but eventually you’re going to have to get up and deal with those emotions.
Instead try even looking up books on how to control your mind. If you’re interested, I have the perfect pdf on how to control your mind called the Master Your Mindset Course.
10. Invest In Your Personal Growth
Often times people spiral into places they feel they can’t get out of is because they are not self aware. This is not anyones fault since it is not even taught in schools how to correctly take care of our emotional well being. This is why it is important to educate yourself on your own mental health, know what works for you and what doesn’t and always invest in your personal growth and development.
People who are not self aware are usually a destruction to those around them and more importantly, themselves. When you become self aware and educate yourself on things like the importance of selfceare, taking control of your mind and emotions, you can better equip yourself and have a better quality of life and experiences. You no longer feel empty or like you’re just going through life each day aimlessly. Try it out and read books, watch TED Talks, learn more about how the human brain works or spirituality that aligns with you and your morals and beliefs.
11. The Things You Go Through Build Your Character
When you’re going through a period of anxiety, overthinking and unwanted thoughts, and feel like they’re a never ending cycle. You have to remember that it will end if you just give it time and work at it. The more you ignore these negative thoughts and feelings, the more they fester into your future relationships, your character, contribute to your insecurities and so on. Remember, nothing lasts forever, you will get over things but in the moment it can feel like it will never end. You have to give things time and allow yourself to learn the lessons that life has for you so that it can build your character into the person you’re meant to be or want to become. How you deal with your pain is what makes you the person you are!
I hope this post helped you gain some tips on how to control your mind from negative thoughts and feelings. Please be sure to check out my Master Your Mindset Course. It has all the best tips and resources you would need compiled into one pdf on how to control your mind. Once you learn how to control your mind, you can control your life! If you require serious medical help, please be sure to seek out help from a professional or trusted source. Other than that, I hope this post has contributed positively to your wellbeing! Lots of love!
Alana – Mae